Hey guys, I know how you read posts and it says "If I can lose this weight, then anyone can!" But why? Well, here's my reason why if I can do it, you can too.
It's confession time. Like a lot of people, I did the whole I'm starting a new diet, then 2 weeks later, fall off the diet and immediately start a new one, and keep going on and off like that. I went through phases of dieting, from extreme to just plain stupid fad diets.
1. Diet pills - tried it. Nothing. I was probably more scared of the side effects than the positives of it. But I was desperate. I weighed 125 pounds. Yes, I was an okay weight for 5'4, but I didn't like myself. Simply put, they didn't work and just gave me a lot of mental stress.
2. The Cabbage Soup Diet - tried it. Gained weight. The concept of being able to lose up to 10 pounds was so alluring that I just had to try it. So I did exactly what the diet tells you to - the soup, the bananas, the brown rice, etc. By the end of 10 days, I instead gained a pound or so because I was eating so much of it. Negative calories or not, if you eat too much, you will gain weight. Period. I weighed 128 pounds in the beginning of the diet. 129 at the end.
3. Compulsive Exerciser - bad for your body and very tiring. As a current college track athlete, I can tell you that weight is very important for running. And as an ex-gymnast, weight is extremely important. Well, if I'm already training 2-3 hours a day and not losing weight, why not add another 1-2 hours in the morning? I did it for several months. It was a horrible cycle where my body felt too tired, I got shin splints, and my hips were getting messed up from overtraining. My performances at meets decreased too. And on top of that, I'd get so hungry at night that I'd binge. So in the end I lost 5 pounds at most. Back to 125 pounds.
4. Bulimic tendencies: Now I'm not saying bulimic. I was never bulimic. But many people don't know that bulimia has two types - purging and non-purging. I was what you call a non-purging. I didn't vomit. I was so desperate to lose weight though that I began chewing and spitting out my food. If I felt like I ate too much, I'd exercise double the amount the next day (compulsive exerciser comes back), I took laxatives, and I skipped meals. What does this do? Well in the end, I felt like I lost control. My mind was obsessed with food - which is ironic considering how much you want it to go away. The excessive exercising (4 hours) like I said before took a toll on my body. The laxatives gave me unbearable stomach aches and makes you dehydrated, and luckily I stopped before any long term consequences came out of it (such as dependency on them), and the skipping meals only made me binge more.
So what does this all lead up to after 2-3 years of this? Depression. I was diagnosed with depression and ended up in therapy for a month or so. And this month I'm referring to was earlier this summer. So the depression is very vivid in my mind still. Depression is a very interesting thing - you don't really know you have it and it doesn't mean you're depressed all the time. It bounces up and down, happiness then extreme sadness, hopelessness, just feeling lost. I gained weight during it despite not eating and sleeping for more than half a day usually. I weighed 131-135 pounds before therapy.
After therapy, I quickly lose about 4 pounds, and rested at 130 pounds. This was before starting my school year for college. After going back, I told myself I deserved better. During my depression, I'd walk into my room or look at something I own and tell myself "You don't deserve that. You didn't work for it." I told myself I deserved to be happy and so the first step was to take care of my body and lose weight the right way. 130 pounds is not overweight for a 5'4 person, I know, but I wanted to run faster for track and I was very unhappy with my body image.
I started a new diet where I'd lose the weight slowly and I only gave myself 1 rule: No matter what happens at the end of 2 weeks, you just keep going. After 2 weeks, I of course overate and felt horrible and wanted to give up again. But I followed my one rule. So the next day I went right back on my diet and a month and a half later I realized my shorts were falling off when I was running. It was the best realization I had. I had lost 8 pounds by then. It gave me motivation to keep going, keep pushing.
Now I'm 113 pounds, 5'4. That's 17 pounds I've lost so far, and I did it the healthy way. I'm still aiming to lose more, but I just wanted to share this story with you all and say those overused words, "If I can lose weight, you can too."